Forgiveness is hard and sometimes it can become a trap. Forgiving others can lead to a downward spiral of "why don't/can't they forgive me?" and sometimes the act of forgiveness of others and ourselves can seem an impossible task.
As you walk through your healing process, and forgiveness isn't bringing you peace, perhaps it's time to become authentically indifferent. Not in a "screw you" kind of way, but in an "that's just how they are" kind of way. It doesn't require pity or understanding, just humility, empathy, and acceptance.
Private Estrangment Support group: http://bit.ly/SLC_Estranged