Episode 40 - On Losing My Shit
So, I lost my shit....
See that glass?
That's the remnant of me losing my shit the other night.
That's something I haven't done in forever, and something that I, and you, need to do more often. Not necessarily break one of our favorite glasses, but lose your shit.
We men, all of us, are emotionally constipated. We all have different emotions that are blocked from coming out naturally. Whether it's anger, guilt, shame, sadness... all of us have an emotion or two that, for some reason, we don't allow ourselves to feel or express.
Then, when the pressure builds, the dam breaks and "Katie bar the door", that's when shit gets dangerous.
For me, it's anger. Anger is that emotion I've never allowed myself to have.
It took 10 years for me to admit I was angry with my ex-wife over the divorce.
Ten. Freaking. Years.
That's a long time to be holding on to that emotion, burying it inside, and pretending it didn't exist. Unfortunately what happens is we take out that emotion on those around us who truly don't deserve it.
Last night I lost my shit, broke one of my favorite glasses, and then broke down in tears.
And I'm ok with that.