Changing your life is hard enough. You've got to let go of old beliefs, gird up your loins, step out in faith, and go forward when you don't have the first f*cking clue about how to get where you're going.
For most people the belief of having the life of their dreams is no more real than their being elected Pope. So, when you decide to step out in faith and declare your intention to the Universe and everyone around you that you are going to be the biggest, badass, most successful _______ ever, some of the people in your life will do all they can to keep you grounded.
These are the poo flinging monkeys of your life.
Some will tell you outright that they think you're crazy and you'll never be "it" because of x, y, or z reason. These are the ones that are easier to ignore because deep in your heart you know they're wrong. Plus, what commonly happens when someone tells us we can't do something?
Our natural response is to say "Fuck you, just watch me!"
Others, though, will be more ninja like in sabotaging you. They'll tell you to 'be realistic', load you up with failure statistics because they 'just want to help', or they'll try to convince you that right now isn't the right time because of ________ and don't you 'have responsibilities to take care of first'.
These are the monkeys that fling their poo at you when you're not looking.
Don't Let The Monkeys Kick Your Ass
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time around. You're the average of their attitude, their environment, their beliefs, and their income.
There's an old social experiment involving 5 monkeys in a cage. Also in that cage is a ladder at the top of which is a bunch of bananas. The story goes that whenever a monkey would try to climb the ladder, the other 4 would get doused with cold water. After a while, every time a monkey would try to climb the ladder, the other 4 would pull it down and beat it. Eventually no monkey would try to climb the ladder.
The scientists would then replace one of the monkeys and when the new monkey would try to climb, the other 4 would pull it down and beat it up. Then a second monkey was replaced and the same thing would happen with the first replacement monkey joining in the beating.
Eventually all the monkeys were replaced with the same result every time without the cold showers ever being used.
When you decide to change your life, you're like the monkey that decides to climb the ladder. For most of us, the people we have surrounded ourselves with are the monkeys that pull us down and kick the crap out of us.
They've been conditioned to stop anyone from becoming successful because a) they've tried and failed; and b) they believe your being successful means bad things for them.
Surround Yourself With Climbers
It's not easy to kick people out of your inner circle. Those we let become close to us are those we trust, we value, we love. Yet if those same people are going to do nothing but fling poo at you or pull you off the ladder and kick your ass, what purpose do they serve?
Learning to let go of close relationships is difficult. Yet if you want to be successful you have to let go of those who aren't willing to either support you or come along on your journey. The people you need to let go of could be friends, coworkers, a boyfriend/girlfriend, family members, or even a spouse.
Choosing or resigning yourself to stay with those who hold you down only leads to a life of disappointment and regret. You'll eventually resent them and yourself for crushing your dreams. The worst part is you'll become like one of the other 4 monkeys and pull others off the ladder and beat them up. Plus those resentment filled relationships will come to an end anyway, usually in pretty ugly ways, and you'll end up:
And have wasted an invaluable amount of time you could have been using to become smarter, stronger, more confident, more philanthropic, more loving, more successful, and, well, happier.
If you want to be successful it is imperative that you let go of those relationships with lower energy, wet blanket, naysayers and start filling your circle with higher energy, joyful, passionate people who make your soul come alive.
You only have one life.
Make the best of it.