So, I bet y'all thought I'd let men off the hook over how they can screw up a relationship. Fear not, there's enough equal opportunity bonheaded-ness to go around. Both men and women do their fair share intentionally, and unintentionally, to screw up the best relationships.
....and now it's the guys' turn in the barrel.
Here's 5 ways men can lose the 'perfect woman':
1. Go Silent
Guys, I get it. You deal with a lot of shit that you don't share with the outside world and it can get overwhelming at times. So much so that you shut down and barricade yourself off so you can focus on whatever crisis is in front of you. That's fine... JUST TELL HER. Let her know what's going on, you're dealing with a lot, and that, if true, it has nothing to do with her. Reassure her that you're fully invested in your relationship. Going MIA with no explanation is bad, bad, bad.
2. Don't Validate Her Feelings
This is a big one. You may not understand why she feels the way she does... and it doesn't matter that you don't get it. Her feelings are valid and need your validation, especially if they're directed at you. Validate her feelings, don't dismiss them.
3. Show No Interest In Her Love Language
Ever go for the romantic gesture, feel like it's unappreciated, and then get all butt-hurt about it? Well, it's because you're not aware of what her love language is. You may think gifts will sweep her off her feet, yet it's a gentle touch or words of encouragement that really touch her heart. Learn to speak her language so she knows how much you care about her.
4. Keep That Dangerous Ex Around
Guys, admit it... you all have that 'one who got away', that other person that's like kryptonite. Toss that shit into the bin like Frodo throwing the ring into the fires of Mount Doom. Let your sweetheart know that only they have your heart and nobody can steal you away.
5. Always Be "Fixing" Things
We men are natural 'fixers'. We see a problem and we immediately default to figuring out a solution. Sometimes she just wants you to listen. If she wants you to 'fix' something, she'll let you know. Otherwise just listen, hold her if she needs it, and just reassure her that everything is going to be ok. Always looking to 'fix' things tells her you don't think she's capable and can give the impression that you're not really listening to what she's going through.
Relationships take work. They take compassion, empathy, and two people willing to really listen to and communicate with each other.