Don't Give Up, Give In.

What You Resist Persists

Unhealthy, broken, and difficult relationships are a bitch. Suffering through them takes a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. They remove you from being present and trap you in living in the past. You're constantly haunted by the ghosts of "woulda/coulda/shoulda", keeping yourself sedated with the drug called 'hindsight'.

Eventually, though, you come to a fork in the road usually disguised as your breaking point. You've withstood all you can, your emotional tank is empty, and the thought of going forward is just too much to bear.

Yet you don't want to remove yourself from this whirlpool because you don't want to "give up".

There's truth in the saying "what you resist, persists". Resisting the reality of the situation causes you to focus on it, both consciously and subconsciously. Those feelings of sadness, resignation, unworthiness, unlovable-ness begin to consume your life.

Eventually those will be come your standard operating mode. 

So let me ask you, do you really want to live like that? 

Giving Up vs Giving In 

Naturally, you'll feel like you're ready to give up. You've internalized all those negative emotions and now you think the only way out is to accept that you're all those things and give up on being happy and fulfilled.

Believing you're giving up makes you think you're a failure, that there's something 'wrong' with you. It feeds into your fear that you're unlovable, that you don't have what it takes to find, keep, and maintain a healthy relationship.

Giving up is resigning yourself to be directed by your fears and insecurities.

On the other hand, giving in leads to acceptance. Giving in to the reality of the situation leaves room for you to believe that you matter.

Giving in helps you to let go of all the "whys" and "what ifs" and frees you from your self-constructed prison.

Giving in is coming to the realization that you not only love the other person, but that you love yourself as well.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
— Serenity Prayer

Giving in is the first step towards believing you matter.

It's surrendering to something bigger than you. It's a belief that your current situation isn't your final destination. It's understanding that in where you are, there is a lesson to be learned that you will grow from.

Giving in allows you to move from "what if" to "what's next".

And that's when the healing begins.

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