"But what IS my calling?"
"What IS my passion?"
"What am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?
As a coach I hear these questions all the time. Hell, I've asked them frequently as well. Sometimes the answer is clear and sometimes there's nothing but static on the other end.
This, men, is the cycle of life.
A man must be willing to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill it or end it, and then let it go. You have to be able to handle not knowing what the hell you're supposed to do with your life while you wait for your next great adventure or stage of growth.
Life is an endless cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth. This is not only true in nature, but in a man's life as well.
Think about it for a moment. What did you want to be when you were a kid? Did you want to be what you are today? If so, congratulations. You've managed to realize a life-long dream. However, if you're like most men, who you are and what you do today are not even remotely related to what you wanted to be as a child.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a weatherman.
Yes, I've always been a nerd.
Then my first major in college was broadcasting.
Then I explored being a teacher.
Never in my life would I have imagined I'd spend the last 20 years as a Chemist/Process Engineer. I don't think that was even in my top 20. It's not even what I got my degree in.
When people ask me who I am, I tell them I'm a former rocket scientist with a degree in theology. Immediately that piques their curiosity because it's unusual.
I'm sure you've had periods in your life where you've resigned yourself to what you're currently doing because, responsibilities. You soldier on day after day in a job that sucks the joy out of your soul because you have 'things you need to take care of'.
Trust me, that way of life is shit... I've been there.
It is the rare man that can spend his entire life in one career, one location, one relationship, and be truly happy. Those men began living their true selves at a very early age.
It is far more common to be on a voyage of self discovery, constantly seeking, growing, learning who your true self is.
Signs Everything Must Change
So, how do you know when it's time to change everything and start a new chapter in your life?
- You suddenly have no interest in your project, job, mission that once set your soul on fire.
- You don't have any regrets thinking about walking away.
- You don't know what to do next and you're ok with that.
- The thought of walking away boosts your energy.
- What you're currently doing seems silly and you're not sure what value continuing to do it brings to your life.
Seek Your Truth
As you seek your truth, your purpose for living, you have to be willing to change everything in your life. Staying within a career, relationship, location simply out of fear of the unknown will kill your confidence surer than anything.
Not only will your confidence suffer, everything in your life will suffer simply because you don't give a shit about whatever it is anymore. Staying where you aren't meant to be will engender feelings that you're a fraud which cannot and will not remain hidden from those around you.
When you're done and ready to move on, you must wait for a new vision, a new calling that touches your soul. There's no way to rush this process. Rushing into the 'next thing' is as bad for your true self as staying in a place that no longer brings you value.
Keep yourself open to your next calling. Don't fill your life with distractions or sedatives as you may miss what the universe is calling you to do.
When the time to change comes, odds are you won't know where to go next and you sure as hell won't have a sense of a detailed plan.
Don't wait until you have 'all the details'.
Just move in the direction you're being pulled. As you move towards your next goal, your next piece of your true self, you'll know which way to move. Life tends to show us the least amount possible about our futures to keep us from freaking the fuck out and talking ourselves out of going where we are supposed to go.